So the war's over?

As pathetic as this war has been, I'm glad to post that it's over, and we won. Fuck this trite "no one wins in war"-bullshit. A Side order of Style won, NOW SWALLOW.

CMOG surrendered at 8:25AM today. They did so unofficially through a post about their cat fetishes. As a tactical analyst, I can say they used that post as a suicide ploy to kill all remaining readers by way of deep coma and subsequently sleep apnea. Our research concludes that the post was equivalent to overdosing on about 5o over the counter sleeping pills.

On a more interesting note, I miss your mom jokes. I guess they stopped after enough people responded with "she's dead". They fucking ruined it for everyone... I remember the first time someone responded in that manner to me. It was in Grade 3 during recess, and I rebutted with: "well that doesn't mean it isn't true". That ass cunt of a child ran crying to the closest teacher and told on me. I wasn't there when he told on me (because I was running in the opposite direction) but I bet the teacher chuckled a bit - before having to chase me down. The lesson I learned that day: Deny everything, and milk being cute/ a girl for all its worth.

I want..

... to fall in love. And because I wrote that, that 'special someone' just got run over by a 18 wheeler. That's just how the world works. You throw it out there for the world to know, and it'll throw it back in your face, laughing. You want world peace? Pray for the anti-Christ. But the social world works that way too. And that's why you admit to nothing you want, in the social world. You want to look drunk? Swear you're sober. You want to bed her on the first date? Tell her you want to take it slow. You want to offend someone in the office? Start off with 'I hope you don't take this the wrong way'. This is how you get what you want, with the best results. I mean there are other ways to get what you want but it's called douche-baggery, rape & harassment - respectively.

Anyone have spare tickets for the XX in toronto?
Stars - The XX (myspace)

I'd apologize for the state of this blog. But I'm well aware no one gives a fuck. Here's some girl on girl ufc-esque throw down for your hedonistic pleasure.

this post is a part of the Quantity over Quality initiative.

Snip, Snip!

After months of telling people, "I'm going to cut my hair...short!" I finally summoned the courage to do it this weekend. Upon texting Steph the news, she immediately responded with, "BLOG ABOUT IT!"

Before: Long hair with grown-out-used-to-be-awesome-faded peekabo highlights.

For Torontonians, I had the cut done at Civello, right by the MTV building north of Bloor. It was actually my first time there, which was risky considering how nervous I was about losing my long hair. But, my stylist, Carmelo, was really awesome. I put pictures on my iPod to show him the cut I wanted (pictured below) and it turned out really good. With the haircut also came a scalp massage and a little bit of makeup application, which was fun. The atmosphere of Civello was really fun and laidback - I'm definitely going back, despite it being a tad pricey.



I chose the Katie Holmes bob because a) it looks awesome on her and b) it totally made her look like she grew up some. And as you can from the picture above, I kind of have a baby face...

After: The Katie Holmes Bob

Surprisingly, I really liked it right away. It's a little different than Katie's, but mostly because my hair's so thick, and I have a lot more of it than her. I think I look more my age - with the cut, I don't think I'd be so easily mistaken for a fourteen year old. Short hair, as I realized today, is much easier to look more polished with, outfit-wise. However, I'll miss my long, pretty hair too...especially curling it.

I think my next cut will be even shorter!


(As always, apologies for the terrible Photo Booth quality, especially for the before image - it was rushed, the night before I got it done.)

I recently found out that I own a Miu Miu knockoff bag - the Coffer. I loved my bag before I realized it's origins, and my appreciation for it has only grew. Interestingly enough, if I had seen it on the arm of the likes of Mischa Barton before actually buying the bag, I don't think I would've been intrigued by the celebrity favourite.

Really, I just picked it up on impulse because I had decided the day before that I wanted a new bag, and the store I bought it at had a "Buy One Get One Free" deal. So a friend and I both got a Coffer replica.

And then, I saw the bag in another store's window last week. I thought it was strange that these stores would imitate each other, or that they had the same manufacturer. But after asking around, I found out that it wasn't just any bag design. Somehow, I appreciate my lovely impulse buy even more now.

Here's to dishing out less than $30 on a bag that could've run me upwards of $1000!

I should learn how to shut up...

So I was getting on with a stunning coworker of mine really well today, till I lied, which led to a long sequence of lies. I feigned knowledge in a field I had no business faking pundit status in. Then when I got home and wiki-ed the shit I was talking in such great detail about, I realized that I truly was stuck waste deep in it. Based on that, I decided on making a list of things that YOU can do to get in a similar Cluster F*ck situation:

(1) Talk about subjects you know nothing about, be very specific and detailed in these lies. Being general will give you more leeway for exoneration, this wont help in achieving the same situation though... that is why it's important to keep very detailed.

(2) When they argue that you're wrong, ignore them. Back yourself up with fake scenarios that "happened" in your life to enforce that you are right, since you have first hand experience, act like their argument is flaky and stupid.

2 easy steps to look like a complete and utterly incompetent fool. You can hybridize it and make it one easy step, but then it just wouldn't be a list. And I love lists...

Have any of you been caught in a lie to impress someone?
please share. God I need to hear some shit stories to feel better...

just seems appropriate: killing lies - the strokes
(photo cred by David Maitland)