Friday, December 19, 2008

I should learn how to shut up...

So I was getting on with a stunning coworker of mine really well today, till I lied, which led to a long sequence of lies. I feigned knowledge in a field I had no business faking pundit status in. Then when I got home and wiki-ed the shit I was talking in such great detail about, I realized that I truly was stuck waste deep in it. Based on that, I decided on making a list of things that YOU can do to get in a similar Cluster F*ck situation:

(1) Talk about subjects you know nothing about, be very specific and detailed in these lies. Being general will give you more leeway for exoneration, this wont help in achieving the same situation though... that is why it's important to keep very detailed.

(2) When they argue that you're wrong, ignore them. Back yourself up with fake scenarios that "happened" in your life to enforce that you are right, since you have first hand experience, act like their argument is flaky and stupid.

2 easy steps to look like a complete and utterly incompetent fool. You can hybridize it and make it one easy step, but then it just wouldn't be a list. And I love lists...

Have any of you been caught in a lie to impress someone?
please share. God I need to hear some shit stories to feel better...

just seems appropriate: killing lies - the strokes
(photo cred by David Maitland)

7 comments:

JHa said...

it's ok. don't cry.

it has to get worse. and then you drown yourself in alcohol.

the irreducible complexity said...

Hi. My name is Andy. I was once put on the spot to tell a sexual story about myself, but was faced with the dilemma of being a 40 year old virgin. I told a story about a girl who liked to 'get down with sex all the time', who loved to talk dirty to me (me so horny!), and who had breasts that felt like bags of sand. I was outed as a virgin, and ended up just fine.

simply.steph said...

laughing at loud @ the irreducible complexity's comment. thanks man

Nat-attack said...

once upon a time i had to go to the hospital to pick up some handouts for hours (for volunteering) and i had to bring my sister...and there was this cute guy at the reception. SURE yes he only recognized me as a kid...but i kind of lied to him and was 'hey, yea i am 18" but back then i was 16...and my sister from the side was 'LIAR, you are only 16'.....at that moment i wish for a black hole so bad to suck her in along with the receptionist....haha well not sure if this complies with your story...but i have had so many bad moments..and have been caught for them.....

jamesforlife said...

So whats up with this fashion post we have to do.. the details have been so scarce. I did one and posted it up on CMOG but Bent told me to take it down ?! I'm so confused =(

Juliet said...

I have been there.

juliet xxx

Lydia said...

This post made me laugh soooooooo much. We definitely ALL have done this, both steps. If you listen to the radio or poscasts, there's one show ALL about this phenomenon! I loved it! Thanks for the comment too.
<3 (encyclo)lydia

 
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