Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I never thought that this day would come....who would have thought that my best friend would be getting married before me. Hey don't get me wrong, i am very happy, i just wished i felt the same about the bride's maid dress.

so i am standing in front of this yellow dress in the hotel room. Like seriously what was steph thinking.

as i let my thoughts carry me away, there was a loud knock on my door. I obviously ran with my dress half done. To my surprise it is steph's soon to be husband.
"ryan, what are you doing here?"
he didn't not respond, he just closes the door behind him and he slowly approaches me. At this point i could hear his heartbeat racing. With no hesitation i lost self control and lose myself in his beautiful blue eyes. He was staring right into my soul, i could no longer feel any senses over my body. i could not help myself, so i kiss him. when our lips met, i could not pull myself away. His gentle soft hands were caressing my hips. I felt like there was music playing in the background, like we were in a club. It was getting very hot and the kissing didn't really stop, i just wanted to get out of that yellow dress.

okay hold up....Ryan was never like this, he was always quiet and it was almost like he spoke a foreign language only to me, i did not understand his actions or words, it was the number one turn off about him. i remember in school, he would always make eye contact, but never actually physically wave or communicate with me. He was the president of student council, and he would make all these speeches in front of the student body, but never said a word to me. Instead make eye contact with me, trying to get my attention like some pathetic bollywood movie. Anyway i could never understand him. Then he and steph met, which brings us to this event after 2 years of dating. we were never friendly to begin with, never really spoke. But the first time that i kind of felt anything, was during a christmas party where we were all there. Ryan was surprsingly very friendly. He dragged me to the dance floor and danced with me throughout the whole night. then when i finally started to feel the five inch heel that i was wearing, i went to sit down and he followed. he sat really close to me and started to caress my hands. i was very shocked but the look in his eyes gave me the courage to feel comfortable with it. thank god, it was dark and no one could really see.

Ryan and i never had any chemistry, he was always very hard to read. Obviously i never felt any emotion for him. it was just whatever happened just happened. i did not question. Things between us, never really rose to any extreme till today when he came into my hotel room and it had to happen on the day where i had to wear a quiet tacky dress.

Our relationship was quiet weird, deep inside i have always wanted to take a chance and test out this awkwardness. This obviously leads me to the time, when we went to this concert, there he was to himself and after a couple of glasses of wine, i definitely wasn't myself. I kept on hugging him and tried to touch his hands at every chance i got. No one took it seriously, because everyone knew that i was drunk. But ryan was not hesitant, he hugged me back and he was accepting to my actions. To be quiet frank, i am sure if i feel anything for him.

Now here we are still kissing, as i had a slight flashback of all these things, and still could not understand how anything like this could happen. I just wish i could atleast read him.

Then out of no where i hear a loud knock on the door, my heart stops beating, i immediately stop staring at the yellow dress and run towards the door.

'Nat, why aren't you ready yet'

i sigh and reply 'Anna, i honestly think the color yellow makes me sad'

mucho love



Annie said...

confused? hahah is this a make believe story...
i seriously thought the marriage was real in the beginning phrases cuz its like the new trend for young ppl to be getting married...

jae said...

annie - yeah, definitely a make-believe story. stepho is only married in her dreams.

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